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This is the print-friendly version of the April 2010 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 24
April 2010 Newsletter
Online Issue # 24
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in August.
The Front Page
On My Heart and Mind
“Why should employers take steps to help make their employees happy? Two reasons. First, because it's the right thing to do.... Second, employee happiness is GOOD FOR BUSINESS.”
—Gretchen Rubin
A recent newspaper article in the business section caught my attention. It concerned the results of a survey of 1000 U.S. working adults. I got distracted before I read to the end, but one thing stuck with me: employees are worn out, not wearing out, already worn out. Because I continued thinking about the article, I finally went in search of it, read it from beginning to end, and found that the actual word was “exhausted.” Employees are “exhausted.”
The survey reported on falling percentages in the following areas:
- employees who take pride in their company
- employees intending to stay with their company
- employees willing to go “above and beyond” their duties
- employees who would recommend their company to others
Ouch! Some of you don't need a survey to tell you this; you are either experiencing this yourself or know others who are.
It seems this decline in worker loyalty is related to a workplace practice that has been going on for too long. Instead of adding more jobs to spread out workloads that have become unrealistic, employers are still making do with current employees who are expected to get it done. And mostly they do; it's their job and it's better than no job, so they do what needs to be done. But as you can easily imagine, people are spread dangerously thin, and have been for quite some time. Yes, you can ask—or tell—someone they need to do more, faster and they will. But it costs them personally: they pay with their life.
How can you honestly expect someone to be genuinely grateful for a job where the work has grown joyless, dehumanizing, and is likely killing them?
Human beings are both incredibly strong and shockingly fragile—at the same time. We can make it through a few stressful days, weeks, or months. But three, four, five years? Something's got to give.
It seems employees are denying—and being denied—their human side. Because they have gone “above and beyond” time and time again, it has evolved into the new norm. They are now expected to perform at previously extraordinary levels, on an everyday basis. Who will say enough is enough? When will we focus on sustainable ways of being in the workforce? What will it take to cultivate the values of common sense, respect, and kindness? When can employees stop subsidizing employers?
Maybe you've heard it said that people don't quit jobs, they quit bad managers. Bosses who are insecure, defensive, frightened, mean-spirited, and stingy. Supervisors who either can not or will not express genuine appreciation. Managers who tolerate work environments that actually prevent employees from doing and enjoying the work they show up to do.
Good work. What would that be? For employees? For a company or an organization? For customers or clients? For owners or stockholders? Let it be productive, and profitable within reason. Let it restore the planet to a better condition than we currently find it. Let it be a force of healing. Yes, healing.
Good work heals. It connects us to the needs of the world. It also connects us to an invisible force within and enables us to go beyond ourselves, where we experience joy, discovery, and healing.
Could we admit we need to change, and leave behind the attraction of greed? Could we move toward ways that are sustainable—inspired and guided by wisdom, respect, creativity, and integrity—working toward goals that hold a promise for everyone and for the planet?
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
The Happiness Project:
Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to....
by Gretchen Rubin
Harper, 2009
hardcover, $25.99
“During my study of happiness, I noticed something that surprised me: I often learn more from one person's highly idiosyncratic experiences than I do from sources that detail universal principles or cite up-to-date studies. I find greater value in what specific individuals tell me worked for them than in any other kind of argument—and that's true even when we seem to have nothing in common.”
—Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin didn't spend a whole year working on her happiness project because she was so unhappy; she wasn't. As she tells it, riding the bus one morning she realized—time was slipping by. Aside from knowing that she wanted to be happy, Rubin hadn't given much thought to what made her happy or how she might be happier. This was the beginning of her happiness project, a year spent “test-driving the wisdom of the ages, current scientific studies, and lessons from popular culture about how to be happy.” Rubin experiments with hundreds of ideas, and begins a blog that leads to a book. And she becomes happier.
Rubin makes it clear that everyone's happiness project will be different. In her book she allows readers to see how she sets up her project and what happens. “I made up my mind on a Tuesday morning, and by Wednesday afternoon, I had a stack of library books teetering on the edge of my desk.... I couldn't just jump into this happiness project. I had a lot to learn before I was ready for my year to begin.”
This passion for books, reading, ideas, truth, learning, and writing is what makes The Happiness Project such an exciting and inspiring resource. Rubin tests out ideas for herself, candidly recounts what happens, and summarizes her thoughts about what worked, what didn't, and why. I appreciated her openness to trying out worthy ideas that didn't particularly appeal to her, as well as her willingness to say up front that she wasn't going to do or continue some things (therapy and the daily gratitude journal).
Inspired by Benjamin Franklin's use of a Virtues Chart for daily scoring his own progress, Rubin creates her version of a Resolutions Chart. This allows her to focus daily on how well, or not so well, she's doing with the resolutions of the month, and as time goes by, all the months preceding.
The book is divided into twelve chapters, one for each month, each devoted to a topic Rubin wanted to work on in her life. The year begins with Energy and ends with Happiness. In between, you'll find familiar topics like Friends, Money, and Work, as well as a few novel ones Eternity, Passion (Books), and Attitude. Each month Rubin identified the resolutions she wanted to focus on. These resolutions are specific and measurable, so that she can evaluate her progress or lack of progress. “Be a better friend” is vague and more difficult to evaluate than “Remember birthdays,” “Show up,” and “Don't gossip.”
Rubin obviously loves to do in-depth research. For her happiness project she read things I would probably never read myself—finding them too scholarly or too academic—but I enjoyed her reports of what she discovered and how she applied it to her own happiness project. For me, the most compelling aspect of the book was discovering what happened when Rubin tried to keep her resolutions. She is a gifted writer—honest, smart, witty, entertaining—the sort of person you want for a friend because she is trying to “Be Gretchen,” even as she tries to change her life. Mostly, I enjoyed the matter-of-fact accounts of how a resolution played out on an ordinary day. It was the clarity of Rubin's insights that made this book a page turner. I witnessed her becoming happier in small but real ways. From her I learned that becoming happy is an impossibly difficult goal, but becoming happier is a challenge worth pursuing.
Subscribing to the Happiness Project blog reminded me of happiness every time I received an email, even if I didn't take time to read it. These regular “Happiness” reminders were making me happier; I guess I was paying more attention to happiness and experienced more happiness in return. This qualifies as an example of you get more of what you focus on.
Since I subscribed to the blog and had read hundreds of Rubin's entires, I wondered how similar the Happiness Project book would be, and whether I'd be interested in reading it. As I thought about this last fall, I realized I had become a loyal follower and fan of Rubin and her about-to-be published book. So, when The Happiness Project book came out last December, I wanted it to be a success, which it is—making it to the top of the New York Times Bestseller List, and I wanted to do my part. I bought the book, read it and I love it.
This is one book you don't want to miss, even if you are already happy, and especially if you aren't. Understanding what makes you happy and discovering what makes you happier is crucial information, since all lives inevitably have their ups and downs.
Visit the Happiness Project blog www.Happiness-Project.com to find:
Gretchen's Twelve Commandments, Four Noble Truths, and Secrets of Adulthood
Happiness Quotations
Tips to try
Resolutions to inspire
Interviews with valuable insights
Archive of Gretchen's blog entries
Sample chapters from the book
Also, check out the related web site www.HappinessProjectToolbox.com to begin your own project.
Practice Page
“Creating is about making it up.”
—Robert Fritz
“The best way to predict the future is to invent it.”
—Alan Kay
Here's something for you to think about, write about, talk about, wonder about, and try out.
The quotations on this page are among my all-time favorites. The first one is the simplest definition of creating that I've found. I love how it helps to demystify creating and offers permission to go ahead and get started: what you are doing is making it up. When creating, you often don't—and can't—know clearly, because you are in a moment-to-moment “making it up” process. You might experience frustration, terror, and exhilaration in quick succession, or you might plod along seemingly forever, still not knowing, hoping for something.
The second quotation reminds me that we can create the future. In the midst of day-to-day living, it's easy to lose sight of this and live as though the future is something that happens to us. We forget that the future is an idea in our imagination; it's always at least a few heart beats ahead of us, more often weeks, months, or even years. The future is seen as “someday” we're moving toward. In truth, the future is in our ordinary moments.
This moment, right now is when we create—whatever we create—with or without awareness. Although a moment is a short period of time, they have a way of adding up. You could say they trend. Repeated moments of something tend to create that something. One or two moments don't create it, but hundreds and thousands of moments do. You might wake up one day and wonder where did all this hesitation come from? It takes courage to look and see the pattern you've been creating, moment by moment.
What if you shifted your focus to create more moments of magic, inspiration, curiosity, or adventure? Imagine how different the creation of your future will be.
Challenge:
Notice a moment. Without judging, see it as it is.
Now see it as the building material for your future—your life.
What might you be creating with this moment or ten thousand similar moments?
An Affirmation:
You've probably heard the advice to begin with the end in mind. Affirmations are an excellent way of doing that. When you write an affirmation for yourself, you focus on what you want to experience in the future and you bring it into the present moment.
Pretend for a minute that the following is true for you: I want to get up in the morning excited about the day ahead of me, because I'll be doing what I love to do—making a difference in the world.
Creating that Moment: Making it Up
An affirmation is a positive statement about what you want, expressed in the present tense.
In this moment, my life is good.
I wake up every morning to a brand new day.
I'm excited to be who I am,
eager to do what I love,
confident I make a difference.
Do-It-Yourself Affirmation
Give yourself some quiet, alone time to focus your attention on something you want to happen in your future. As more details occur to you, write them down. Once you've gathered your thoughts on paper, you might already be feeling and picturing what you want more clearly.
Adjust your focus back to the present moment, as though you are already experiencing what you want. Select one detail you jotted down and describe it in the present tense. Examples: I am content. I wake up rested. I choose wonderful friends. I eat fresh foods.
Add another detail, and then another. Play around with the order of what you've written. Read it out loud to hear how true it sounds to you. Do the words flow? Do you like the feel of the words when you repeat them to yourself?
Finally, check that your affirmation is positive, in the present tense, and what you want.
Notice how your affirmation is both future and present focused: that is its power. An affirmation becomes your future, only when you make it your present moment.
“The future is not a result of choices among alternative paths offered by the present, but a place that is created—created first in the mind and will , created next in activity. The future is not some place we are going to, but one we are creating. The paths are not to be found, but made, and the activity of making them, changes both the maker and the destination.”
—John Schaar
Laurie Mattila
© April 2010
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
For 16 years Discovery Writing has been helping people to hear and trust their own knowing, in order to create a life of their own choosing.
This six-session class uses a simple “listening-writing” process as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
Spring Schedule 2010
Monday evening ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
April 12, 19, 26 May 3, 10, 17
Friday morning ( 10:00 a.m. - 12:00 noon )
April 16, 23, 30 May 7, 14, 21
Fall Schedule 2010
Tuesday evening ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 21 October 5, 19 November 2, 16, 30
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work SM
Important Update
For over ten years I've taught the class Intentional Living—Meaningful Work through the Compleat Scholar program at the University of Minnesota. Because of a change in program focus at the Compleat Scholar, my class will no longer be offered there.
Since the topic remains timeless and has always attracted a vibrant group, I've decided to offer the four-session class on my own this summer. I would love to have you join us. Here are the details:
Summer 2010
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work class
The idea of living with intention and working with meaning speaks to the heart, soul, and imagination. It is a topic that grows more relevant with each passing year.
Poet Mary Oliver asks, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Using this question as a place to begin, you are invited to examine the way you are living and working. Consider other questions too—Is this all there is? What are my true needs? How is my life being consumed? What's worth doing? Grapple with these ideas and more through personal reflection, group discussion, interactive exercises, a little writing, and optional outside reading. The group provides a supportive and stimulating environment that encourages personal responsibility for informed, conscious choice.
Class will be held on four Tuesday evenings at my office in the Midway neighborhood of St. Paul: June 15, June 29, July 13, and July 27 from 6:30-8:30 p.m. The total cost is $125. Enrollment is limited to eight, and preregistration is required.
Please call my office at 651-644-7766 for more information or to register for Intentional Living—Meaningful Work; leave your name and phone number so that I can return your call. Directions will be sent when you register.
September 2010 to May 2011
Intentional Living—Meaningful Work group
In September, I'll begin another nine-month group that will meet once every month through next May. This group is open to anyone interested in exploring “living with intention and working with meaning,” whether or not you've ever taken the class. Our focus is on paying attention to the lives we are creating.
We will meet on the second Tuesday of each month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at my office in the Midway neighborhood of St. Paul. The cost is $125 per quarter, payable in any month of the quarter. Limit of eight students.
Meeting dates (by quarter):
September 14, October 12, November 9
December 14, January 11, February 8
March 8, April 12, May 10
For additional information, please call my office at 651-644-7766 and leave a message.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice. It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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