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This is the print-friendly version of the December 2006 Newsletter -
Online Issue # 14
December 2006 Newsletter
Online Issue # 14
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in April.
The Front Page
Showing Up
About a year ago I decided to explore a volunteer opportunity at a nearby humane society for companion animals located near my home. Following the death of our one remaining beloved elderly cat, we agreed to live without pet responsibilities for at least a year. Eighteen years of devoted service to the pleasures and needs of three opinionated cats, caused me to think this "time-out" was a really good idea. However, I didn't want it to mean there would be no cats in my life in the meantime.
On a spontaneous Saturday visit to the humane society, just to see and be around cats, I talked with a volunteer who was brushing cats and he encouraged me to think about volunteering. Before I left, I signed up to attend the next general orientation session to learn more about volunteer opportunities. I applied for and interviewed to become a volunteer cat groomer: someone who shows up for at least eight hours each month to socialize and groom cats, something I delight in and might even excel at. I love to talk with each cat I groom, massage their favorite spots-under the chin and behind the ears-and pet, brush or comb their fur in a way that they enjoy.
Our three cats were all considered DSHs, domestic short hairs, who essentially groomed themselves as needed. They lived the life of cat luxury with all of their needs and most of their desires met. They had the run of the house and a minimum of stress. It wasn't until their health declined considerably that they required assistance with grooming. And even then, they assisted each other. I cherish the memory of watching one cat groom another who no longer had the energy or flexibility to care for himself.
This is when I discovered the joy of offering full-body cat massage with a warm, damp flannel cloth, followed by gentle rubbing with a dry fluffy washcloth. I stumbled upon this healing ritual, healing for both cat and me, and one to which I gave my complete, unhurried attention. It allowed me to be present, moment by sweet moment.
I'm experiencing something similar now as a volunteer cat groomer. I'm learning to show up for each cat I interact with, some I recognize from previous visits and some I'm meeting for the first time. During the five to ten minutes I spend with each cat, I want them to have my undivided love and attention. I want them not to forget how great it is to be a cat that is adored and smothered with love. The scratches behind the ears, the tummy rub and the sweet conversations are often soaked up by every waiting cell. Although they are well cared for and safe while waiting to be adopted, they are nevertheless waiting-in an unfamiliar place with strange people, sounds and scents-minus their routines. It is an in-between, stressful time; and it is not home.
I know from my own life and work that waiting can be extremely difficult. Showing up each day and living in the moment is supposed to help; I've heard that is what cats do naturally. But for those of us who tend to leap ahead of a situation and who want to know, right now, "How much longer?", waiting can feel unbearable.
I remember as a child that sometimes waiting for five minutes seemed impossible to me, almost painful. I felt that I would self-destruct from all the effort it took to do nothing, but wait. I was frustrated that I couldn't make time go any faster. Over the years, I've learned more about waiting simply by needing to do it. Who of us hasn't had to wait months or even years for some things to reach completion?
In the meantime we have this opportunity that is with us every day: to notice what is here, now, often right in front of us. We can ignore what is or we can show up and give it our full attention, until we begin to notice the details that alter what we see and experience.
Remember the familiar saying, I'll believe it when I see it. And it's alternate form, You'll see it when you believe it.
As this year slips away to meet its end and a fresh new year comes forth to greet you, I wish you the courage to throw open your arms in a welcome embrace, seeing what is right in front of you with a heart that is ready to choose.
With gratitude,
Laurie Mattila
Good Books
Perfectly Yourself
9 Lessons for Enduring Happiness
by Matthew Kelly
Ballantine Books, 2006
hardcover, $22.95
We expect self-help books to focus on the changes we want or need to make in our lives. That's why this title, Perfectly Yourself, appealed to me. It's almost a radical thought to think of already being perfectly yourself, whatever that might mean.
Well, it turns out that Kelly is focusing on becoming a "best" or "better-version-of-yourself." This is still self-improvement, but with gentleness. It's about staying true to self-not attempting to become someone else who you will never be, at least not happily.
Kelly's selection of nine lessons reads like a touchstone, inviting us to remember: What does really matter in this life? The lessons won't be unfamiliar to most readers, but many of us want to hear them again: celebrate your progress, just do the next right thing, put character first, find what you love and do it, live what you believe, be disciplined, simplify, focus on what you are here to give, and patiently seek the good in everyone and everything. Kelly offers insights, stories and approaches to "imperfectly" living these lessons, with examples coming from his work with others and his own life.
Each of the nine chapters ends with an excellent summary of the lesson, followed by very empowering steps for applying it. This makes it easy to review a chapter and refresh its lesson during a brief morning or evening meditation.
I wish the book's editor had noticed and encouraged Kelly to remove several statements about women, parenting and children that felt inappropriate. Other than that, I recommend the book.
"Let this idea guide you. Whatever is stopping you from becoming the-best-version-of-yourself, cast it from your life ... and whatever is helping you to become the-best-version-of-yourself, embrace it with all your heart, mind, body, and soul. If you are to be happy, it will be as yourself-not as what someone else wants you to be or expects you to be or wishes you were but as your own wonderful self."
-Matthew Kelly
You Can Have What You Want
Proven Strategies for Inner and Outer Success
by Michael Neill
Hay House, 2006
paperback, $14.95
The back cover of Neill's book reads, "Would you like to discover an easy, fun way to live the life of your dreams? This book can change your life for the better just by reading it..."
Thousands of mediocre books sell when they promise readers quick and easy transformation. Neill's book could have been one of those, but it's not; it's different.
Neill is as an international success coach, master trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, writes a syndicated coaching column and magazine column, and hosts You Can Have What You Want on Hay House Radio. Neill's book is a handbook filled with exactly what readers need: short snappy sections and proven strategies. Part I, "Creating a life that makes you go "WOW," focuses on knowing, trusting, inspiring and loving yourself; it also introduces the idea of effortless success. Part II guides readers through "nine key life obstacles that people use to stop themselves from having what they really want in life": information, skill, belief, well-being, other people, motivation, time, money, and fear. Neill suggests reading and working with these nine chapters in any order that seems relevant and trying some of the experiments. He makes the point that you don't need to do everything in order to succeed.
One unique feature, "From theory to practice," appears in boxes throughout the book. This is an opportunity for you to test whether the information being presented actually works for you.
"If a wonderful life is the sum total of a whole lot of wonderful days, what can we do to ensure we have as many wonderful days as possible?" [Look for Neill's top ten tips in the epilogue.]
-Michael Neill
I want to mention the following two books, even though I didn't get them read in time for review.
Crazy Busy:
Overstretched, Overbooked, and About to Snap!
Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD
by Edward Hallowell
Ballantine Books, 2006
hardcover, $24.95
Dr. Hallowell is a psychiatrist, the co-author of Driven to Distraction, and the author of many other books about Attention Deficit Disorder. He is known internationally for his practical, solutions-oriented approaches to helping individuals with ADD. In Crazy Busy he now offers help to readers whose lives have spun out of control. To learn more, visit the website for Crazy Busy at www.crazybusylife.com
Yearnings
Embracing the Sacred Messiness of Life
by Irwin Kula
Hyperion, 2006
hardcover, $23.95
This first book by Rabbi Irwin Kula explores seven timeless human yearnings. Watch for the new two-hour public television special "The Hidden Wisdom of Our Yearnings with Irwin Kula." Also, visit the web page for the book at http://yearnings.irwinkula.com/thebook.htm
Gift Idea-Inspirational Card Decks
Several years ago, when they first began to appear, I included a list of inspirational card decks that make wonderful holiday gifts-the sort of gift that keeps on giving each time someone opens the box to randomly select a card for consideration or writing. Most decks come in sturdy, compact storage boxes containing 50-60 cards. Each illustrated two-sided card contains a thought related to the theme of the deck.
In bookstores you often find them shelved next to the author's books, or sometimes in a separate area with other decks, e.g., Tarot or Medicine cards. Hay House continues to offer some of the finest; if you want to see them all, visit their web site at www.HayHouse.com
Here are a few you might like to know about. Unless noted, they are priced at $15.95.
Louise Hay
Power Thought Cards
64-card classic deck of affirmations for developing inner strength.
Wisdom Cards
64-card companion deck of affirmations for nurturing inner wisdom.
Power Thoughts for Teens
50 powerful affirmation cards with vibrant illustrations especially for teenagers.
Cheryl Richardson
Grace Cards
50 beautiful cards with keywords and guiding thoughts to explore the answers to your own questions.
Self-Care Cards
52 cards with specific actions to honor your self-care and improve your life.
Sonia Choquette
Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose Oracle Cards
63 cards and guidebook for understanding life's pressing questions-your soul lessons.
Trust Your Vibes Oracle Cards
52 cards and guidebook to help you develop your psychic sixth sense.
Ask Your Guides Oracle Cards
52 cards and guidebook to introduce you to the work of your guides and help you connect with them.
Denise Linn
Soul Coaching Oracle Cards
52-card deck with guidebook to discover "what your soul wants you to know." Features keywords along with positive, encouraging thoughts.
Several decks from the publisher, New World Library, come boxed with a prop-up frame to display one card. The price of these decks is $17.95.
Shakti Gawain
Creative Visualization Deck
50 cards with quotations from the author's writings. Cards contain additional comments and guided meditations. Useful for inspiration or meditation.
Eckhart Tolle
The Power of Now Inspiration Deck
50 cards with quotations from The Power of Now on one side and artwork on the back.
The Power of Now Meditation Deck
50 cards with key words on one side and related quotations from the book on the back.
Practice Page-It's NEW
In my ongoing quest to keep my work (including this newsletter) vital and true, I've decided to turn the Profile page into a Practice page with experiments for you to use. I love crafting ideas that prompt the gentle discovery of what already dwells within us, valuable resources and energies that we need-if we are going to be who we came here to be and give to the world what we long to contribute.
As I did in the August issue, I'll offer a few ideas for you to think about, write about, talk about, wonder about-on your own or with a friendly companion who is not threatened by you becoming a happier, healthier, wealthier person.
If you feel that you simply don't have time right now, take it anyway, even five minutes. Read through the questions quickly, noticing if there's one that leaps out for you. Allow this question to process in the background of your imagination, while you move on to other things. You'll be using the power of imagination, to pay attention, without actual "efforting."
If you do have time to immerse yourself in this experiment, you might want to get a notebook for making lists and jotting down things that occur to you. Try not to expect yourself to figure it all out; instead, give yourself permission to record any and all impressions, including fragments.
Releasing the Energy of Expectations
Now that we've entered the end-of-year season, many of us feel the crunch of accumulating responsibilities along with an accelerating pace. Even if your own life is quite simple and relatively free of end-of-year stressors, the energy of heightened expectations is in the air. It's like a widespread virus that will affect you, either directly or indirectly. No one is immune. For some of us the stressors are primarily work related, for others they involve family, finances, health, school, the larger community, the shopping mall, or all of the above. Expectations multiply and the pace of doing speeds up, often unreasonably, as long as we allow it.
Our awareness of what is happening to us is critical. However, paying attention to your own responses and listening to what you need and want, before you agree to anything, all takes time.
Just because one calendar year is soon coming to an end and holidays are being planned and celebrated, doesn't mean you can't let go of worn out, defeating patterns. You don't have to wait until the new year begins. You can free up energy and your life, right now. You really don't have to complete everything on this year's to-do list, before you can choose to take care of yourself.
Here are four questions intended to uncover expectations and free up creative energies:
What do others ask of you?
What do you ask of yourself?
What is your soul whispering?
How have you been responding?
Affirmation
I feel the desire for change stirring within my soul.
My imagination wants to explode with new possibilities.
Yet, I hold myself back sometimes,
returning to the comfortable patterns I've outgrown.
This is part of my letting go and I accept it.
But each day I breathe in courage and
focus on why I am and what I long for.
As I say Yes to my own life a new way emerges.
I feel my soul singing its own song.
Laurie Mattila
© December 2006
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
This six-session class uses process writing as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
Winter Schedule 2007
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
January 27 February 10, 24 March 10, 24 April 7
Monday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
January 29 February 12, 26 March 12, 26 April 9
Fall Schedule 2007
Thursday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
September 20 October 4, 18 November 1, 15, 29
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
September 22 October 6, 20 November 3, 17 December 1
View the online flyer to learn more about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
For FORMER Students:
2007 Discovery Writing Year-long Group
I'm offering a year-long group that begins in January and meets monthly through December 2007. This group is open to all former Discovery Writing students. If you are interested in participating, please look over the details below and then contact me.
I have been using this year-long group format with students since 1999. It is a phenomenal way to continue developing your listening-writing practice while making ongoing discoveries in a supportive and inspiring environment. I encourage you to consider being a part of the group in 2007 and sharing in the excitement of creating a future you desire.
Details:
The 2007 group will meet on the 3rd Monday evening of each month from 6:30-8:30 p.m. at my office in St. Paul. Members are asked to commit to the group for the entire year. The cost is $100 per quarter, payable in any month of the quarter. (e.g., The $100 payment for the first quarter may be made in January, February or March).
If the group fills quickly, I'll consider adding a second group on either Tuesday or Wednesday evening. Please let me know if you want to be kept informed about this additional possibility.
You may contact me by calling my office at 651-644-7766 and leaving a message or by sending an e-mail to me at LaurieMattila@aol.com
Intentional Living-Meaningful Work SM
For NEW Students:
Intentional Living-Meaningful Work meets from 6:30-8:30 p.m. on February 6, 13, 20, 27.
I will be teaching the course "Intentional Living-Meaningful Work" again this winter through The Compleat Scholar program at the University of Minnesota. The class will meet at the Continuing Education and Conference Center on the St. Paul campus on Tuesday evenings in February. Registration will be handled by The Compleat Scholar at 612-624-4000. Descriptive information about the course ( CS 0222 ) is available online at www.cce.umn.edu/scholars
Feel free to contact me directly if you have specific questions about the class itself. You may call my office at 651-644-7766 and leave a message or send an e-mail to me at LaurieMattila@aol.com
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients
and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting
their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of
discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice.
It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of
April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite
places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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