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This is the print-friendly version of the December 2003 Newsletter
- Online Issue # 5
December 2003 Newsletter
Online Issue # 5
In this Issue:
See also, the print-friendly version of
this newsletter (all the articles are on one web page).
Look for the next issue in April.
The Front Page
Vocabulary for a New Year
The ending of one calendar year and the beginning of another is a perfect time to examine your "personal vocabulary" and make choices about what you will keep, what you will let go, and what you will add. It's an opportunity to consider the words you use and those you don't, and how both spoken and unspoken words are shaping your life - - with or without your awareness.
To begin, take a few moments to think about words that you clearly want to KEEP in your vocabulary and your life. These words are links to the things on which you choose to focus your precious time, energy, love and attention. They sustain you, and it's important to recognize their presence in your life.
Also, think about other words that you're ready and willing to let go, to RELEASE. These words diminish you, and others, each time you focus more of your attention on them. Instead of sustaining you, they magnify disappointment and frustration, often leaving you feeling stuck, alone, cheated or somehow less than. It's time for you to give yourself the gift of releasing them. If you don't know how, or you can't do this on your own, find a trustworthy guide through the process.
Finally, think about words that you want to ADD to your vocabulary in the coming year. These words might represent secret longings or significant choices of a tangible or spiritual nature. Some might be words you're reluctant to speak out loud, so you'll need to give yourself permission to experiment with them. That means you'll DARE to focus your attention in a variety of ways: imagining, writing, posting, pondering and speaking them. And you'll DARE to watch what happens.
Let me demonstrate. So far, I've come up with three example words from my own life, one for each category.
- I know I want to keep - FREEDOM
- I know I want to release - EXPECTATIONS
- I know I want to add - MAGIC
Now what? Start by talking to yourself on paper in an affirming and supportive way that uses your vocabulary words. Play around with writing down possibilities that energize and inspire you. Listen for phrases that call forth choices you're longing to make. I'll demonstrate again using my own words.
After some awkward attempts and a few false starts, I wrote the following statements that feel and sound right for me.
- I thrive in the FREEDOM of being self employed.
- I refuse to measure my accomplishments by unrealistic EXPECTATIONS.
- I invite MAGICal moments into my life.
Did you notice the defensive tone in the middle statement above? I clearly don't want to be focusing on what I don't want, so I'll remedy that by affirming / declaring the essence of what I do want. What I really want to release is unrealistic expectations so that I can measure my accomplishments realistically. Here's a new version, without the defensive tone.
- I measure my accomplishments by my own realistic EXPECTATIONS.
I now have at least three words that I want to focus on during the next year: FREEDOM, realistic EXPECTATIONS and MAGIC. And three threads to follow and pay attention to as the months go by. Who knows where this will lead or what I'll discover? What I do know from past experience, both my own and that of others, is that by choosing my focus, even if it's only three vocabulary words, I am choosing to alter the direction my new year and my life will take. On any given day it might not make a noticeable difference, but there is a cumulative change, a shift in direction that occurs as the weeks and months go by. It's that minute adjustment along the path, amplified by each mile of the journey. You think to yourself: Why bother? But when you experience the shift miles (or months) later, it earns your attention.
Consider for a moment that I didn't do this simple experiment and instead ended up focusing on three other words, either by default or habit: Disappointment, Stress, Obligations. These are real life words I have been thinking about. Also consider that I didn't take a few minutes to shift my focus from what I don't want to what I really do want. Twelve months from now I can probably expect to be / feel even more disappointed, stressed and obligated - - given that I've been focusing on these words for twelve months, even if unintentionally.
Years ago I read several of Marsha Sinetar's many helpful books. One line from one of them leaped off the page and planted itself in my life: "You get more of what you focus on." That is the heart of this simple vocabulary experiment. Whether you're aware of it or not, you do choose words and you do focus on them. AND the words on which you focus your attention, shape your life.
A quote from Sonia Choquette, which I once copied into my notebook, says it eloquently. "Your own words are the bricks and mortar of the dreams you want to realize. Your words are the greatest power you have. The words you choose and use establish the life you experience."
Let the coming year be one of your own choosing, a year in which you go beyond what holds you back. Three chosen words, over twelve months, will shift your focus and alter your direction. One to keep... one to release... one to add. Let the experiment begin. Let the process unfold.
With gratitude,
Laurie
Good Books
The Call: Discovering Why You Are Here
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
HarperCollins, 2003
hardcover, $20.00
The Call is Oriah Mountain Dreamer's third book. First came The Invitation and then The Dance. Like both books before it, The Call is structured around another compelling prose poem written by the author. As The Call opens, Oriah Mountain Dreamer is approaching the end of week one on a 40-day vision quest in the Canadian wilderness. As The Call unfolds, Mountain Dreamer risks revealing herself to us, line by line, for instructional purposes. In this intimate telling of her intensive search, we observe the process of call as it happens in her life; and it isn't what she or we expected. For Oriah Mountain Dreamer the call reveals itself through one word: rest, as in "come home and rest."
I encourage you to visit the author's website at www.oriahmountaindreamer.com
"This is what I learned on my quest: There is simply no place, no location or situation, that cannot be used to wake up to and live all of what and who you are, if you are willing to show up, to be present in the only place you ever have access to: here."
-Oriah Mountain Dreamer
The Practical Dreamer's Handbook:
Finding the Time, Money, and Energy to Live the Life You Want to Live
by Sarah and Paul Edwards
J. P. Tarcher, 2001
paperback, $13.95
You might recognize Sarah and Paul Edwards as the prolific coauthors of helpful books for home-based entrepreneurs, including the classic Working From Home. Although The Practical Dreamer's Handbook is another resource for readers exploring or pursuing work they can do from home, it's also an excellent guide for anyone wanting to explore or pursue a dream - - whatever it might turn out to be. What I love about this book is the way it weaves together two essential threads / processes that often feel incompatible: dreaming and action. The authors make clear that one process is not more important than the other; both are required, but at the right time. Which leads to the question - How do you know what is needed and when? The authors illustrate their answer to this question with lots of stories from their own lives and the lives of others in their community. You'll witness the process, and the power, of intuitive listening to inner promptings and outer events, and see how these are acted upon to move forward a dream idea. Readers will follow the birthing of the Edwardses new dream to move to Pine Mountain, California where they now live. Your dream might not be anything like theirs, or your desires might not even be defined yet, but in their book you'll encounter truly valuable guidance for exploring and creating something wonderful of your own. Each of the book's three sections (Desire, Action, Satisfaction) contains numerous opportunities for you to "Try This", and concludes with a remarkable "Remember This" in-depth summary of main points.
You might also want to look for some of the other books by Sarah and Paul Edwards, including Changing Directions Without Losing Your Way (2001 paperback), Finding Your Perfect Work (2003 paperback) and many, many more.
You can visit the book's web site at www.practicaldreamer.net
"Like children, all dreams move on. They grow up. They mature. They have children of their own. It's the nature of life. Desire, action, satisfaction. Practical dreamers love this creative process even more than any particular dream because they love life and this is life, the endless rhythmic cycle of the inhale and the exhale, the inspiration and the manifestation."
-The Practical Dreamer's Handbook
Profile of Catherine:
Catherine's profile first appeared in the paper version of this newsletter in the Winter of 2002. The newsletters that followed are all online and available in the archive on this web site. Now Catherine's story is available online too. First, her original profile, followed by her update.
I Didn't Wait to Win the Lottery
A year ago I could not have believed where I would be today. I had the best-paying job I've ever had, a house I loved, good friends, a fine life: safe, familiar, secure.
Except for the screaming voice. That, and turning fifty.
I had listened to this voice before, this longing. It had propelled me on the best adventures of my life. Now it was relentless. Now it was loud. "What are you waiting for?"
I had just been fortunate enough, thanks to great aunt Dora's bequest, my parents' gift, and my savings, to buy forest land in Wisconsin, in the northwoods I've loved since I was a kid.
Parting from the land to return to the cities and my stressful corporate job was difficult. Every day the job was more stressful. Every day I could feel myself aging faster. On weekends I was volunteering for a Green Party candidate in my neighborhood, and the distinctions between my values and those at the corporation became sharper. The voice was shrieking.
So I finally listened.
It said, "All your life you've wanted to live close to the woods, live with the rhythms of nature, live green." And "all my life" wasn't so long anymore. Zoom! "It's time," said the voice.
Even though I didn't know how to do any of this, I set off. I learned how to buy a car. I learned how to sell my house. (I never did learn how to stop loving it.) I had to go through every bit of my stuff and give it away, throw it out, or pack it. I had to say goodbye to my beloved friends and Minnesota, where I'd lived for thirty years. I drove off in a rental truck, with my friend Peggy driving my car.
I didn't go straight to my land. I went to stay with my sister Susan in rural Illinois. She and her husband Tom gave me the gift of a rent-free place. I could help fix up their house, working for love instead of money. Every few weeks I went to my land, camping there or staying at my parents' nearby cabin.
Gradually my inner compass reset itself. North. On my land, a possible building site began to reveal itself. That, and the coming of cold weather told me it was time to take the next step. I moved to Wisconsin, first staying with my parents, and when they went back to Arizona, renting an off-season cottage for the winter. After seven weeks, I finally found a job. Besides paying rent, I will need to qualify for a building loan next spring. The profit from the sale of my house covers the car and about half of my estimate for building the cottage (and, of course, I could be way off!).
I'm learning about passive solar heating. And about soapstone and other woodstoves. About below-the-frost-line foundations. About wells and septic systems. About house plans and whole other languages.
I'm also learning how beautiful my land is. There are white pine, Norway pine, red oak, red maple, birch, aspen and hemlock trees, hazelnut brush, ferns, moss, lichen and wildflowers. Every walk is different. Familiar paths change with the weather, let alone the season. Without leaves now, suddenly the topography is much clearer, helping to confirm the building site. This time next year I hope to be living on my land, in my cottage.
I'm learning how friendly people are here. I'm learning to slow, to quiet, to breathe. I'm learning more deeply the blessings of family and friends. I miss my friends terribly, but I am building guest accommodations. I appreciate my parents and siblings more than ever. I am very grateful for their support of my dream, both practically and emotionally.
And then, every once in a while, it comes to me full force: I'm here, where I've always wanted to be. I took a leap of faith and I landed. My voice is singing.
December 2003 Update:
I LOVE THIS PLACE
Nearly two years later, and I write this from my forest cottage. It's real. It took a little longer--and felt much longer--than I thought (although by building norms it went quickly and smoothly). My beloved dog died suddenly before it was done. The cottage, like the land, was blessed. Jami, the architectural designer, drew a simple, elegant plan based on how I live day to day, indoors and out. Mike, the builder, made a strong, true house. It is well built through and through. This summer my mother built the pantry shelves. My cottage reminds me of poetry: concise, surprising, and deeply beautiful. I am lucky to be here.
P.S. A new dog now lives with me.
Upcoming Calendar:
Discovery Writing: Creating A FutureSM
For NEW Students:
Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
This six-session class uses process writing as a way to explore what you truly desire; it is also a path to follow in creating your future.
Winter Schedule 2004
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
January 10, 24 February 7, 21 March 6, 20
Wednesday evenings ( 6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
January 21 February 4, 18 March 3, 17, 31
Spring Schedule 2004
Saturday mornings ( 9:00 - 11:00 a.m. )
April 10, 17, 24 May 8, 15, 22
Thursday evenings (6:30 - 8:30 p.m. )
April 15, 22, 29 May 6, 13, 20
More about Discovery Writing: Creating A Future
For FORMER Students:
Discovery Writing Year-long Groups
The next year-long group for former Discovery Writing students will begin in January 2004. This group will meet monthly from January through December on the 3rd Monday evening of each month. It will be limited to eight members who are asked to make a year-long commitment. All former Discovery Writing students are welcome to participate. Invitations will be mailed in late November. If you are interested, please register early because the evening group always fills.
Intentional Living: Meaningful WorkSM
For New Students:
Intentional Living - Meaningful Work
In 2004 this four-session class will meet every other Tuesday evening from January 27 to March 9. It is being offered again through the Compleat Scholar Program at the University of Minnesota. You can view the course description for Intentional Living - Meaningful Work (Course: CSch 0940) in the 2004 spring course listings of The Compleat Scholar Program at www.cce.umn.edu/scholars.
Registration for this class only is handled by the Compleat Scholar Program at 612-625-7777 or online at their website, listed above.
For Current and Former Students:
Intentional Living Ongoing Group
After the 2004 Intentional Living - Meaningful Work class ends in March, this small group will meet from April through December on the second Tuesday evening of each month. Current and former students are welcome to join; the group will be limited to eight members. Contact Laurie Mattila at 651-644-7766 for additional information and to register for the Intentional Living ongoing group.
Winter Weekend Retreat for Women
Voicing Inner Wisdom: Cultivating Spiritual Luck
This retreat is now scheduled for the winter weekend of February 27-29, 2004 at StoneyWoods Retreat Center. It is open to all women who are interested in hearing their own wisdom and exploring the role of luck in their lives. Please contact Laurie Mattila if you are interested in receiving detailed information with registration materials. Send e-mail requests to mail@LaurieMattila.com or call 651-644-7766 and leave a voicemail message.
About the Newsletter
This newsletter is created several times a year for my clients
and students, and anyone else interested in listening to and trusting
their own deep knowing. It is designed to support your process of
discovery and growth, and to bring you up-to-date about my practice.
It offers encouragement, guidance and resources for you.
You will find new issues posted on my website in the months of
April, August and December. I hope you add my website to your favorite
places and check back when the next issues are scheduled.
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